in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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