I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I will be naked everywhere
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
