Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize