I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize