I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize