thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
