i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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