so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
kristin has been a bad kristin
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I need a beard to bite.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
