yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
