I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
