I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
