My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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