I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
dude. I can hear the air.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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