I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
