69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
