please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It's rum buckets o'clock
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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