Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm at about main and main street
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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