Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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