He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize