If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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