That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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