it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
