After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
