I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Lo siento on account of my penis...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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