and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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