I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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