if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She needs sedatives and a leash
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
