Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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