Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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