Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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