I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
