I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
