we're chasing vodka with high fives
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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