New invention idea: vibrating tampons
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
