I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
