I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
