yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
