ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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