I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So. Much. Porn.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
