I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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