Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
