Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
