you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
