Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This baby is an asshole
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
