I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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