At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
