Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
