Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
