Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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