thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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