I think I died a long time ago.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
