I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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