dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
