its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
