Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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