I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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