so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
