i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Damn victory sex feels great
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