I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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