The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
