i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
